Over the years I have navigated mental, physical and neurological health conditions.
Hospital admissions.
Community based treatment.
Paramedics.
ECT treatment.
Specialist appointments.
Experiences that change how you see the world.
But when I look back, some of the most difficult moments were not what my body or mind went through.
It was people’s reactions.
Professionals who did not believe me.
Employers who showed little understanding when I struggled.
Comments from people around me at my most vulnerable.
I remember being referred to a new consultant psychiatrist during a period of crisis. I was dealing with severe mental health difficulties, a relationship breakdown and the death of a close friend.
At the time my body was also struggling in ways that were not yet understood. Years later it became clear I had been living with endometriosis and an ovarian mass. Undiagnosed ADHD and I had also experienced a mini stroke.
But in that consultation none of that context was visible.
Instead I was labelled “emotional and dramatic.”
I became so worried about being judged that I later wrote a letter explaining who I was and the context of what I had been through.
That letter was also described as dramatic.
In that moment I stopped feeling safe in myself and around others.
It took years, and the support of other healthcare professionals who listened with compassion and professionalism, to rebuild that trust.
That difference matters more than people realise.
Illness itself is hard. But the way people respond to someone who is struggling can either make recovery possible or make it much harder.
Today I bring those experiences into my work through Lived Experience Inspires, helping healthcare professionals, organisations and future leaders better understand the human impact behind the experiences people carry.
Because when you come out the other side of difficult experiences, what often stays with you most is simple.
How you were treated.
For anyone supporting, leading or working with people:
What does compassionate care actually look like in your everyday interactions?
Fliss Hoyle is the founder of Lived Experience Inspires and delivers talks and workshops sharing lived experience across education, workplaces and media.
If you would like to include lived experience within your education programme, organisation or event, you can find more information on the website or get in touch.
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